#Cheating, divorce, Infidelity

Can You Really Forgive Your Spouse For Cheating?

The answer to that question is HELL NO!!! Listen, I don’t care how Christian Tyler Perry would have us to believe people are, how his movies have women thinking love and forgiveness conquers all…it’s all total B.S. In his movie, Diary Of An Angry Black Woman, Tyler would have us to believe that after Charles dragged Helen across the floor of their extravagant home, and threw her out on the doorstep, in front of his new slut, er, woman, who would become the new lady of the house. THE HELL??!! Supposedly, Helen was so forgiving and Christian, that she went to Charles’ aid to nurse him back to health when his corrupt business dealings got him shot. Meanwhile, the homewrecker he kicked Helen out for was cleaning out his bank account and got the hell out of dodge. There is not enough love in the world that would make me do that. Call me hateful, evil, bitter, or whatever, but it wouldn’t happen like that in the real world.

Years ago, when I found out my soon to be ex-husband cheated on me, all sense of understanding and love flew out the window. It wasn’t even that he’d just cheated. It was much more complicated. We’d broken up for a short time, and in that short time, he got another woman pregnant. We get back together a while later, and I’m told he has a baby on the way, but he’s made it clear to the baby-mama that he doesn’t want her. Or so he said. When it was all said and done, he’d still been very much involved with the baby mama. It came down to me and her having words, and her happily filling in all the blanks as to my then boyfriends absenteeism and sudden distant attitude with me. I mean, this woman knew everything about me, my kids…things only he knew. And as much as it hurt, I knew she was telling the truth. But, due to the fact that I had two children of my own who deserved a two-parent household, I stayed. That was around 2008, and to this day, I’ve never really forgiven him.

The thing is, while we may tell ourselves that we will push certain unpleasant thoughts to the back of our minds and move on with our lives, it’s never really gone away. Somewhere in your subconscious, you’re always thinking about it, remembering, resenting your mate for their betrayal. Not only that, but you will always wonder if they are still cheating when they aren’t with you. The trust is completely gone, even if you do still love and want to be with them. But it’s inevitable that you will eventually realize that love won’t be enough to make you stay with someone you can’t trust. It’s a waste of time. Sure, you can try counseling and/or praying, and that may make you believe that all is fine and dandy. And it may very well be…for a little while. But the mind loves to play tricks on us, and that little thin line between love and hate will eventually start to move closer and closer over to the hate side, every time the thought of being cheated on crosses your mind. And as long as you remember the betrayal, you can never really forgive the person who betrayed you.

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6 thoughts on “Can You Really Forgive Your Spouse For Cheating?”

      1. Umm, yes sexting is a from of cheating. Your body should be shared with your spouse only. It may not be the same as physically cheating, but it can and will lead to it eventually.

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