Hey y’all. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, so I’m sure everyone is running around like chicken with their heads cut off, trying to get dinner together. Me, I’m not really cooking much this year. I’m going to mama’s house to eat, so I don’t have to fight through the crowds at Walmart for that last can of cranberry sauce, or that last pre-washed bag of Glory Collard greens. I have been asked to fix some chicken spaghetti, but that doesn’t take long at all. I’ve been so busy finalizing the divorce, I totally forgot about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, which I usually look forward to every year.
Speaking of divorce, I’m still trying to figure out why I’m not as sad as I probably should be. I don’t have the time to be walking around depressed and on the verge of a breakdown over a man, but I guess I expect some type of sadness to wash over me. That has yet to happen. The week prior to our divorce, I’d told myself that even though it’s been a long time coming, that if we could somehow talk everything over and work things out, I probably would have stayed married to him because my son (who just turned 17 last Friday…tears) made it clear he didn’t want his family to break up. For that reason alone, I was willing to do what I had to in order to fix our issues and make us work. However, after a lengthy conversation where we aired out all of our issues with each other, and ways to fix them, that a-hole told me nothing would change, but we could still be close. WTF? First of all, saying nothing would change in a nutshell means HE wasn’t willing to try to do what needed to be done in order to keep his family together. I didn’t need to hear anything else after that. I don’t need his ‘closeness’ now…that should have come BEFORE the divorce. So, if I wasn’t worth it to him to try to work it out- after I’ve put up with 8 and 1/2 years of his drama- he’s not worth my tears, heartache, or anything else. Eff him…it’s not like I’m losing anything, other than a huge headache and all the baggage and drama that came from being with him. So, maybe that’s why I have yet to feel any type of sadness that our marriage is over. I’ve been keeping pretty busy. I started and completed a novel as part of #NANOWRIMO (Novel Writing Month) and I’ excited about the new book I’ve written…I think it’s my best one (so far). I’ll start a semi-autobiography about my faux marriage after the holidays…it’s going to be wild, is all I can say, so stay tuned.
I went out last week and got my hair braided (see pic above) and a much needed eyebrow wax…I took the time to do something for me, for a change, and I feel great. Got a lot of compliments on the braids, including one from him (not that I give a damn what he thinks). Now he wants to tell me I look good; now he wants to send ‘good morning’ texts…it’s far too late for that. He’s lost me completely. I will literally give chance after chance to someone, but once I’m done…I’M DONE! I don’t hate him, I just don’t really respect him. So, I’m doing me again, and it feels great not having to wonder who or what he’s doing anymore, or turn a blind eye to all his lies. Well, I’ve talked (or typed) enough. I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving, and be safe. Lot’s of people love to drink and get out on the road during the holidays. TTYL!