I know…it seems like I’ve abandoned my blog. That’s not the case, though. I’ve just been really busy with the holidays, kids, work, just everyday bullshit. I was so not in the Christmas spirit this year. I won’t say I was Ms. Scrooge; however, I just wasn’t really feeling it, for some reason. Normally, I’m that weird lady who loves to decorate my home according to whatever holiday it is (Halloween, Easter, Christmas) even though it seems to embarrass my kids. I did put up a few Halloween decorations and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, but when Christmas came around, I couldn’t be bothered to drag the 6-foot fake tree out of the storage room, put it together, and put decorations on it. I had no intentions of putting up a tree at all, until my daughter was like, “So, you’re really not gonna put the Christmas tree up, mama?” Hadn’t planned on it, but since she mentioned it, I took out the little 4 foot tree, threw a few decorations on it, and called it a day. However, I was not in the mood to wrap gifts, so I kept them hidden in the trunk of my car until it was time to give the kids the gifts. That’s all the kids were concerned about anyway, so I didn’t feel too bad about not putting presents under the mini tree (shrugs)
Anyway, I’m glad that’s over so things can get back to normal. I haven’t been writing on this blog, but I have another one, in addition to writing my books, so I’ve been productive in that sense. Now, if I could just find me a new place to live and get out of this house with the ex-husband, I’d be fine. We never really went through a separation period. There was an argument on September 18-ish, which led to me telling him that I was sick of his shit and to file the divorce papers, which led to me not speaking to him for two weeks straight. After several weeks of giving him the silent treatment, I eventually realized that I was going to have to talk to him as long as we lived in the same house. So, we started communicating a little bit, but we were still going through with plans to divorce. Neither of us could afford to up and move out, and with the holidays coming up, we just stayed put.
Now, though, it’s awkward, and quite frankly, annoying as hell to still be living in the same house as the man I officially earned my freedom from as of November 18, 2015. I don’t hate him, but I don’t particularly like him, either. I lost what respect I had for him months ago, and I’m just getting plum sick of looking at him everyday. I’m working on getting an apartment for me and the kids, but until then,I’m still stuck here…with HIM. UGH! I am so ready to be in my own space. Again, I have to talk to him, because we still live together, but I limit my conversation to as little words as possible.
Apparently though, he’s under the impression that we’re friends or something. Umm, hell to the no, we’re not. I don’t need him to call or text me his whereabouts, like he’s still doing, nor am I going to tell him mine. What I do now is my business. I don’t owe his ass any explanation. I don’t need him to call and check on me while he’s at work. Like, really? Now he wants to play Mr. Nice Guy? Then, he even bought me perfume for Christmas- Nicki Minaj perfume and my favorite Bath & Body Works, to be exact. And to think I didn’t buy him anything…talk about awkward. I wasn’t even going to accept his gift. I mean, we’re not married anymore, and not obligated to buy each other presents. Also, I didn’t want him to think that because I accepted his gift, I would be obligated to give him something in return, if you know what I mean…and that’s exactly what I told him. He claimed that wasn’t his intentions….to get something in return, that he just wanted to be nice. Just like he offered to still help me out at my new place (whatever that means) whenever I finally do move out, all out of the goodness of his heart. Mmm hmm. Men always want something in return…it’ll also make me be forever indebted to him if I keep accepting favors from him. **cold shivers travel through my body as I think back to a past relationship with a guy who insisted on ‘helping me out’ after our relationship ended, but it was really a way for him to stalk me and show up at my place unannounced** Been there, done that, not doing that ish again.
So yeah, this is my current awkward situation. He’s lying in bed in the bedroom as I’m sitting at my desk typing. Something has gotta change…and soon. As a matter of fact, I’m signing off so I can go apartment hunting. Pray for me. Later!