All I Want Is My Name..

They say never say never…but I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get married again. The phrase, ‘it’s so easy to get into a marriage, yet so hard to get out of one’, couldn’t be more true. It’s bad enough I’m still living with the ex-husband, but in an attempt to move on with my life in some capacity, I decided to go back to using my maiden name. My driver’s license expired back in September, but I just got around to renewing them last week (yeah I know). Anyway, after nearly failing to successfully read the row of blurry numbers during the eye test (my vision isn’t as perfect as I thought) I told the revenue clerk that I would like my new license to be put back in my maiden name.

She asked me if my maiden name had been granted to me during the divorce. HUH? She explained that the judge would have had to awarded me my name back in the divorce decree, which I didn’t have with me. So, I had to get out of line and walk down to the court clerks office to get a copy of the divorce decree. I got it and went back to the revenue office. The clerk looks over the decree and says, “It doesn’t say here that your maiden name was awarded.” I’m still confused. I always thought that once you’re officially divorced, everything goes back to the way it was, as far as names are concerned. “So what does that mean?” I ask. “It means, unless the judge put that as a stipulation in the decree, I can’t put your license in your maiden name.”

Ain’t that about a bitch!? Apparently, you have to ask for your maiden name back during the divorce. I so did not want to have to continue signing my last name as Thomas. Remember on What’s Love Got To Do With It, when Ike & Tina were going through the divorce, and Tina was like, ‘I don’t want anything from him..all I want is my name.’ That’s how I felt at that moment. So, I was like, “Well, how do I go about getting my maiden name back?” To be told that I had to file a court fee ($165.00), hire an attorney, and go back to court to change my last name, was not the answer I wanted to hear. I’m a single mom to a 17 and 11 year old..I don’t have $165.00 lying around, and that’s just to file the court fee. I’m sure the attorney will expect to be paid for whatever I would be hiring him/her to do. We didn’t even hire attorney’s to get the divorce. I think we both just wanted it to be over, and neither of us wanted anything from each other…other than what we walked into the marriage with. There was no arguing over who would keep the house or whatever. Our landlord hasn’t even attempted to fix a single thing since we moved into this house in 2014, so I always knew I wanted to move. I had my own bank account, he has his…so it was like a clean slate…except for this name thing.

Life…it’s so freaking unfair sometimes. Anybody got $165.00 I can borrow?



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