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The Date Debate

I’m one of those women who hates dating. I think that’s why I stayed with my ex-husband for as long as I did..I was comfortable with him. I spent nearly 9 years with him, so I became complacent. The dating scene was rough when I was in my twenties, and from what I hear from single girlfriends, it’s only gotten worse. But more than I hate dating, I don’t like being alone. Yes, I’ve been single before and I definitely enjoy my own space sometimes. I enjoy ‘me time’; but I also like having a man in my life. My kids are 17 and 11…meaning between school, friends, cell phone, video games, my son has girlfriends (ugh), they don’t have time for mom anymore. There are sure to be many lonely days and nights in my near future, and I’ve entertained the thought of getting back out into the dating world. I’m not looking for anything serious, but it would be nice to have a male friend.

At the same time, dating requires work that I’ve gotten comfortable not having to do as much over the years. You know, shaving your legs (and other areas) more than once every other month. Putting on make-up (I always end up looking like a clown, so I just say eff it), wearing something other than mom jeans, leggings, and baggy t-shirts (because my kids always need money for something and I rarely buy clothes for myself). Just the thought of it makes me tired. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around looking like a slob, it’s just that when you’re married and/or with someone for so long, you get used to each other. You see each other in some of the worst possible situations (sick, on the toilet, when you wake up and you look nothing like the person you looked like when you went to bed, morning breath, snoring…loudly) so how you dress isn’t really a big deal.

I thought about online dating…I don’t have to leave the house to do that. I created a profile on Steve Harvey’s dating site delightful.com, more as a joke than anything. After five minutes of scrolling past profiles of men with names like ‘bigdadddy69’ and ‘killamike’, I quickly decided against that. I ain’t hardly trying to end up as the next story on Dates From Hell, or Web Of Lies, or Disappeared on the I.D. Channel. Seriously, the more I watch that channel, the more I’m convinced that men are totally psycho. Like, for real. I have dated a few psychos in my lifetime, and luckily I lived to tell the tales. So, online dating is definitely out of the question. I’m a homebody, and other than work, chauffeuring my son to and from practices and games, and the dreadful trips I make to Walmart, I don’t really go out. I gave up clubbing before I turned 30. So where exactly am I supposed to meet men? Church? I don’t think so…there are more devils in there than out on the streets. I can pray and talk to The Lord from the comfort of my own home.

Maybe I’ll just hold off on getting back on the dating scene. I don’t trust anybody and I’ve had two close calls with men who turned out to be wolves in sheep’s clothing. I’m not trying to hit that third strike and end up on an episode of Fatal Attraction. I like living. When I look at it that way, being single doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

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