Facebook has become like the morning news paper to some people. We wake up, use the bathroom, grab a cup of coffee, then log into our Facebook accounts to read the morning news, gossip, and whatever else. So, I was just scrolling down my page, and I came across this post from a guy in a group I’m in. The guy says “He’s married to a Pisces woman, but his best friend is a female and she’s a Virgo. He went on to say that he loves this female best friend and can’t stay away from her, even though his wife is not happy with how close he is with this woman.” He repeated in comments that he can’t make himself stay away from this “friend” no matter how upset it makes his wife, because there’s just something about her, and he wanted to know if he was wrong.
First of all, hell yeah, you’re wrong. Several people read between the lines and realized there was more to this “friendship” with this woman than he was letting on (mistress would be a better term) but he insisted she’s “just a friend.”
This really irked my soul, because my ex-husband had several female “friends” (all of whom he had sexual relationships with in the past…and probably the present too) and they interfered with our relationship and marriage for the entire 9 years that I was with him. Your spouse should come BEFORE any friend-male or female- and if you’re not willing to let the buddies go, you clearly don’t respect your spouse or your marriage. What exactly do you think “forsaking all others” means, when you recited those wedding vows? That’s exactly why so many marriages don’t last. You can’t be married, yet make friends- especially friends of the opposite sex- your top priority…it doesn’t work like that. First of all, if the tables were turned, you wouldn’t like it one bit. Of course, a few silly females gave him the answer he was looking for, telling him that his wife is wrong for asking him to stop putting so much time and energy into his friend, talking about she should trust him. Ummm, I’m sure she probably would trust him a little more, if he didn’t give her reason to think she has to feel intimidated by this friend that he can’t (and won’t) stay away from. That has nothing to do with trust, and everything to do with respecting his wife and marriage…which he clearly does not.
You can’t be married on paper, but act single. No one is saying you can’t have friends of the opposite sex once you get married, but they definitely should not come before and/or between you and your spouse, and cause problems between you two. If you’re more concerned with making your friends happy, and not the person you married, you’re wasting their time and your’s, because the marriage won’t last. This guy is being very disrespectful to his wife by refusing to stay away from this friend. If his bff had any respect for herself- or even for him- she wouldn’t even be okay with the fact that by his choosing to put her first, it’s causing problems in his marriage. I’m not a psychic, but I don’t see this marriage lasting very long.And for the women who find nothing wrong with his actions, let’s see if you feel the same way if you ever get married. The only way you won’t be upset about your spouse spending more time with a friend of the opposite sex than he does with you, is if they have a friend occupying their time while their away.